Well, holy crap. Welcome, All Ye Friends of Frank, to the 100th Post Extravaganza.

What will this extravaganza entail, you ask?

That’s an excellent question. And I’m going to be really honest with you, [insert your name here], I don’t really know. I’m going to make it up as I go.

First, there are some common misconceptions regarding Mr. Franklin Gordon Sheepfoot that I’d like to clear up.

1. I, the author of Frankasaurus, am

a) a dinosaur
b) a male
c) some dude named Frank

None of these are, in fact, true. I am a 29 year old human female named Renee. I do, however, have little arms. (By the way, every link on this post will open in a new tab.)

2. …. That’s all I’ve got.
Those are really the biggest misconceptions. You’d be surprised how often people think I’m a dinosaur. You’d be even more surprised at how often people link to this blog and either refer to me constantly as ‘Frankasaurus’ so as not to include any gender-specific information whatsoever, or they automatically assume that I’m a guy named Frank. Not true!

On to the next portion of the extravaganza…

How did this blog even come to be? Why Frankasaurus? Why Frank Sheepfoot? WHY, YOU WEIRDO, WHY?

To quote one Mr. John Cusack in his epic role as Lloyd Dobler…. “YOU MUST CHILL!”

Here’s the thing. I’ve been blogging for almost 11 years. I’ve been blogging since before blogging was even cool and hipsters were pulling out their Roy Orbison glasses and fake mustaches in coffee shops all over the world to make a huge production of pecking away at their laptops in Starbucks’ windows.

My blogging journey began in the summer of 2001, just after I graduated from high school. I started on LiveJournal and promptly became addicted to hearing myself type, for one, and for two, creating something. I LJ’d about my life. “Here’s what happened today” and all of that good stuff. Just like I’d done in my first diary in 3rd grade, and every journal I had throughout high school. And college. I wrote journals in college AND I wrote on my LJ. Then I added a Xanga at some point (remember them?). That was a way to keep me occupied during the most boring office job ever during my sophomore year and I quickly forgot about it.

I’ve also used Blogger. It was intended to be a way for my friends in far away places to keep up with my life. Then I ceased to have a life, and the blog ceased to be… relevant. This is actually my second or third WordPress blog, started in January 2010, but the only one that’s stuck. Why did it stick? Because I gave it a personality.

Frank.

(The names came from old jokes that I still find entertaining, as well as my dweeby amusement with dinosaurs.)

But like any blog, it takes a while to really find your voice and hit your stride. It takes a while to figure out what your main themes are. Frank didn’t know this at first, even though he had good intentions. That’s why he wrote snooze-fests about the 2010 PA Farm Show and over-analyzed Taylor Swift lyrics.

(I love that Frank allows me to talk about myself in 3rd person.)

But Frank’s become an outlet for me as I have really taken off with writing. I used to be a high school English teacher, but that feels like a life I don’t remember. Now I simply consider myself a writer, and Frank’s been a place for me to explore that transformation. I’ve gone from someone who minored in creative writing to a two-time NaNoWriMo participant and winner. And then to editing those works.

As I got more serious about writing, I realized that it’s what I want to do with my life. As a result, I started blogging for an up-and-coming news site that happens to be making quite a name for itself. I wrote for free for a while, and proving my dedication, was made an editor at the end of the summer. It pays just enough to make my bills and not much more, but I love it. Lots of awesome opportunities (and I get free books!). I’m still seeking full-time employment, but I love it.

Writing isn’t all, though. Oh no! Frank is a multifaceted dinosaur. He writes about other issues that concern him. Other post topics include things like…

• frustrations with politics
• body image issues
• that thing that used to be Heidi Montag’s face
• books … because… OMG I love books. MOAR BOOKS!
• the A.D.D. DJ living in my head
• passive aggressive posts that spill out like word vomit after a best friend really hurts my feelings
• passive aggressive posts that spill out like word vomit when I’m sick of being a third wheel
• reasons why I don’t respect skanks

…and many more.

Is this blog kind of manic sometimes? Yes. Do I sometimes write passive-aggressively? Yes. Writing helps me deal with things. It’s cheaper than therapy. Do I go through periods of writing happy posts only to be followed by a period of downer posts? Yes. That’s because I’m human. Also, 2011 has been a real sonofabitch.

Speaking of 2011 sucking…. how about you rank each year from 2001-2011, awesome-to-shitass.

I thought you’d never ask! The next portion of the extravaganza is the year-ranking portion!

2002: Best year by far.
2003: Very close to 2002 for most awesome year.
2004: Great year. Best summer of my life.
2005: College graduation. Hello, real world.
2010
2001: Pretty equally tied with 2010. High school graduation. Started college.
2007
2008: Goodbye, real world. Hello, mom & dad’s house.
2006
2009: This was a terrible year, but…
2011. What a shitty freakin’ year.

This may or may not have been apparent in my writing. Up until a few weeks ago, 2009 had been the worst year of my life since 8th grade. The year started out okay enough, then went to hell in April when my dad was hospitalized for the first time. He was hospitalized for several days at a time (I lost track of how many times) at least once a month from the beginning of April until the end of August (so over the course of about half the year). A very stressful time. Nothing was working. He almost died.

So that all had me wound pretty tightly. Throw in the desperate need to find a job, issues in personal relations, and a series of illnesses for me, and this year has been kicking me in the face every time I open my eyes. I thought two weeks ago was the cherry on top, but now that I’ve been sick for three weeks, I have an uninsured doctor’s visit.

2011, you one-armed ghost of a whore.

Yeah, the explanation wasn’t necessary. No one gives a crap about your ‘woe is me’ stuff. What are, like, your 10 favorite posts and stuff?

An excellent way to wrap this up! I’ve seen some mild success here at Frankasaurus. I have a handful of subscribers, and a decent number of regular readers who make me feel awesome and motivate me to write. Many of the posts that have been linked elsewhere and that have been most read are favorites. The effort pays off. Not every blog post is a gem, but when you get a good one…

• The Invincibility Complex is the most popular post here, surely helped by its #5 Google ranking.
• Lost: Christmas Spirit. If Found, Please Return. Christmas makes me sad anymore. Growing up is tough. A very open and honest post, but apparently it resonates well with others. One of my most-linked. 2nd most popular post.
• It’s Complicated. My Dawson’s Creek-esque relationship with writing.
• High School Reunion? No, Thanks. I’m on Facebook. Another one that seems to resonate with people.
• A 100% Super Serious Open Letter to Facebook. People like humor — I mean… 100% super serious.
• Frank Thanks: 30 Days of Gratitude in One Blog Post.
• Why Be So Proud? A wonderful, always-timely lesson on pride from my late grandmother.
• Honesty: Simple, Enough, Simply Enough? Written with the truest emotion from the bottom of my heart. A fabulous friendship.
• High-Fiving My Subconscious DJ: A Music Experiment. I just like how different this is.
• The Constant. Because this is exactly where I’m at right now & something I think about a lot.

Thank you for reading, Frankophiles! Cheers to the first 100, and to the next…