Category Archives: Thoughts

Reach Out and Spurn Someone

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I’ve read a number of blogs lately with the theme of not being afraid to reach out when you need someone. These posts typically include lines like, “We may have never met, but if you feel like you’ve got no where else to go, please talk to me” or “I’m always here.” Pretty standard stuff.

This is, I assume, at least in part because the social media circles with which I have affiliated myself over the past year have seen a number of suicides recently, which has everyone shaken up. Oddly enough, this is the second community I’ve belonged to in the past year that has seen an unusually high number of suicides. The town where I live saw three of them in 6 months — all teenagers. The students rallied for some kind of support group. The administration largely ignored them.

Imagine that. One group of people reaches out for another, and is promptly bitten in the hand.

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Fat

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Earlier, an interesting tweet came through my Twitter stream: “If Chris Christie were a woman, would we be talking about weight?” This touched a nerve with me, so I clicked the link to the article, all the while thinking to myself that of course we would be talking about weight.

As it turned out, the article bested my thought. In short, the argument was that, no, we wouldn’t be talking about weight. Why? Because a fat woman would never have been elected governor, much less encouraged to run for President. I think that if Christie runs, his weight will inevitably be a passing topic of discussion. There will be physical comparisons made to William Howard Taft. Then everyone will go on his merry way.

Fat is not cause for rejection or alienation when it comes to men. Gender politics are interesting that way.

What makes me sad is that a woman can be one hundred percent evil or stupid, but if she’s attractive, personality is merely a side issue that can be ignored. Similar behavior in a heavier woman would cause her to be shunned. It’s a double standard that society will unfortunately likely maintain forever. Unless Renaissance figures come back into vogue.

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A 100% Super Serious Open Letter to Facebook

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Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,

I have been an avid user of your site since 2005 when my college friends and I joked about how Facebook should really be called StalkerNet. I’ve mumbled and groaned with the best of them about changes you have made to the site in the past, but with this new set of changes, it is clear that I find in you a like mind.

While I can’t say that I’m surprised at all that you read all of our minds in taking the StalkerNet concept to the next level, I am a bit surprised that my thoughts aren’t automatically showing up in my Facebook feed already. This is America in 2011, is it not? After all, if my thoughts and all details of my life including likes, preferences, and what I’m doing at every second of the day can automatically show up in several locations on Facebook (including places where people I may not want to see that information can access it), I can finally stop interacting with people in person. In fact, I won’t even need to talk to them at all — not in person, on the phone, through email, IM, or any other medium! Actual social interaction is so painful for awkward people like me. But why am I telling you that? I know you understand!

I write this letter to propose a change to Facebook that will help make all of that a possibility. This will have to be rolled out over time, so your developers won’t need to rush in any way. Take your time and really perfect this.

Assuming we all survive the apocalypses of October 21, 2011 (you know, the make-up date for the May 21, 2011 Apocalypse That Wasn’t) and December 21, 2012, you will need to begin rolling out this first piece of technology immediately. December 22, 2012 kind of immediately. What it is, is a neurobiological-ish chip that is implanted behind the ear of every newborn baby. This Facebook Chip comes automatically linked to a profile page for that child that is activated upon implantation.

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Come Back, Simplicity

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Despite the fact that I began a part-time job that pays actual money last week, I’ve had an excess of negative energy recently. I attribute most of it to side effects from the new job — I was trying to learn everything quickly and, since I work from home, I was staying up to work until 3 a.m. I slept an average of 4.5 hours every night last week (and dreamed about the WordPress interface numerous times, thanks to all of my work), so by Saturday I was feeling particularly grouchy.

So I want to write about two completely simple things I did this weekend that made me feel significantly better (three things, really, if you count the fact that I slept for 10 hours last night). It makes me wonder why, the older we get, the more we feel the need to over-complicate things.

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Why Be So Proud?

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A picture I took of the interior of Highland Hall in 2008

Abandoned places have, for whatever reason, always fascinated me. There’s something about what used to be and what is; something about the breakdown. What makes people stop caring for a place? This probably began with a building in my hometown that’s been largely abandoned for many years, Highland Hall (seen in the picture to the left). I could look at photos of abandoned places for hours and never get tired of it. In recent years, I’ve developed a strong curiosity about the abandoned portion of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Since it’s so close to where I grew up, I’ve got a trip in the works there for this fall.

So when I was in church this past Saturday evening and the sermon began with a story about an abandoned church, I was hooked. In the story, a boy and his grandmother are walking past the church, which is now in ruins, and he asked her what happened to it.

“What you see here is the end of an argument,” the grandmother replied.

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A Totally Normal Day

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Do you ever find yourself thinking about what it was you were doing just before everything changed?

And not only that, but how normal it seemed?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s weird that I remember these things and hold on to them as some sort of basis of comparison. While I’ve recently been accused of not dealing with change, when a lot of things change quickly, it’s sometimes difficult to organize that. I still remember that last little bit of “normal” before everything went haywire, and whether it’s a coping mechanism or not, I reach back to that.

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Goodbye, Borders. Godspeed.

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When I read the news that Borders would be closing its doors for good, I cried. Not sobbing uncontrollably, but my eyes filled with tears. That might seem like a bit of a strong reaction, but I think it might be more about what this symbolizes. Sometimes I really fear for literacy, and I mean that.

You also never realize how much something meant to you until it’s gone.

Growing up in the middle of nowhere, we didn’t have trendy bookshops. We didn’t have large retail chains like Barnes & Noble, although on special occasions we’d visit the one an hour away. No, we had a shopping center with a small retailer called The Book Store that was hit or miss, and we had a shopping mall with a Waldenbooks, a subsidiary of Borders. So many of my best childhood memories involve books and begging my parents to take me to buy them. It follows, then, that this bookstore in particular has brought me much joy in my life.

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The Hopeful Reader

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Last week I wrote about my Top 5 favorite pieces of escapist literature, and this week I’m here to talk books again. Specifically, I’m thinking about how reading is just as crucial as writing for mental well-being (I’m not saying that it always works, but it does help). Books don’t always need to be escapist in nature to give us something, do they? Different genres elicit different feelings, all of which are necessary for surviving the cruel, cruel world, no?

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Honesty: Simple, Enough, Simply Enough?

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Recommended listening for this post: “Honesty” by Billy Joel, “Cry for Help” by Rick Astley (don’t judge me; that song is amazing), and “Start Over” by the Abandoned Pools. In that order.

You know that friend you have with whom you can talk about anything? You can communicate openly and be yourself. Always. There’s nothing you can’t discuss.

Isn’t that a great feeling?

For me, that friend is someone I’ve known for a number of years. Most of my friendships with guys begin when they have a romantic interest in someone I know — a friend, my cousin, my sister. This was no different. This friend had a thing for my sister, and that’s how we started talking. We were in our early teens and became inseparable. We’d spend hours pedaling our bikes all over town, talking about everything. Then we’d go home and get online and talk some more. He became like a member of my family, and in many ways, still is.

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I Don’t Get People

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Fair Warning: These are my thoughts and, where applicable, opinions. I’m not interested in fighting with people, which is why I’m writing this instead of fighting with them. Also, my train of thought might derail.

So Osama bin Laden is dead and we’ve known this now for, as I start this, about two hours.

Forget that the Phillies are, at 12:25 a.m., in the bottom of the 13th inning.

Whereas we as a country should be happy that the terroristic “mastermind” behind 9/11 has ceased to be and it was on America’s watch, we instead find ourselves divided by political parties. And I really can’t understand this, although I guess it isn’t altogether surprising. I applaud the Obama administration for gathering the intelligence and using it in a way that allowed the troops on the ground to effectively execute the command. I’d applaud any administration that did that.

But in the end, it goes beyond the Obama administration. Osama bin Laden is dead because of America. Not because of the sole actions of Democrats or Republicans.

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